wake me up when January ends

I am so excited for tonight, Candlemas eve and the end of January!

This is hilarious actually, because I've said for years how my two least favorite times in the world are November and February (but Nov has always been much worse- darkness, blahs etc). It really is true this year, though; I'd much rather leap right on into February. There are a few extra reasons for this, besides just craving that increase in light like you would not believe. Every step closer to Midsummer makes all the difference. But there is more to it.

First of all, on Thursday the 3rd, Chinese New Year will be welcoming in the Year of the White Metal Rabbit. (I could draw about half of those characters for you by hand, but on the computer, no way. I can tell you though, the character for 'metal' includes 'earth,' which is always comforting to see.) A good friend whose birthday is just a day apart from mine, my fellow first-week Leo born in the year of the Monkey, has brought this to my attention, and from the sound of things this year is going to be amazing for us. (assuming, of course, that we're each paying attention to the learning opportunities before us and make the best we can of it all) The main themes are career and relationships (which put together cover a lot of ground!), and also living situation. This is supposed to be a year of dramatic improvements, chickens coming to roost in all the best ways-- and not in a random luck kind of way, but in terms of turning the corner of taking responsibility for things and finally gaining hard-earned opportunities. Sounds good to me!

Second, from the less cheerful angle, back in November and December, two separate crazy people specifically sought me out (well, one in particular; the other was addressing me and a few others) and told me something absolutely awful was going to happen in January. I have to say, between what's happened in Arizona, Russia, Tunisia, Egypt, Haiti, and who knows what other suffering I haven't even heard about, for all I know they both could have been right. The first was a woman on a train (just after Thanksgiving) who'd had a number of visions involving God and the afterlife(s) that were really throwing her off balance even a year or two later. (She wouldn't eat, which is usually a bad sign. If you're having visions, eat up, especially protein.) She spent about half an hour telling me a Dante-like description of what heaven was like (she spared me hell, maybe because I wouldn't listen), and what kinds of things were about to befall our immoral society. She specified December as the time something terrible was supposed to happen to my President (and I call him that because he's the only one I've ever voted for with all my heart), enough that it would 'convert' him to Christianity. (I did actually tell her he was already Christian; she wasn't having any of it.) Thanks be, as far as I know nothing like that happened. By January, though, she assured me there would not only be a new President, but there would be a tsunami in New York City. (Some of my closest friends live in or near NY.) Why she told me all this, I will probably never know, but it's made my gratitude for the end of January particularly strong this year.

The second guy was less starry-eyed and much louder, in a train station just before Christmas. He spent about fifteen minutes telling me and a handful of other people waiting for trains about how 'the capitalist system' was going to be hit with something it couldn't even imagine, in January-- before somebody called the police and they quietly came up behind him with a set of handcuffs. The way he talked about it, you got the impression he was holding a personal grudge against capitalism; it had done something to him, in his eyes. As far as I'm concerned, that may well be true; unemployment and homelessness are cruel, inhumane conditions for anyone, and far too many people are suffering that every day. But to me this situation (of economic injustice, which is a global reality) calls for the opposite response. It was eerie the way he talked about it, it was almost like he was casting a spell-- or hoping to-- on Wall Street, all these people around him who were commuting from there to their homes in the suburbs, like he was trying to curse the stock market so it would come crashing down on its own head the way it had already come crashing down on his. But some part of me-- the part that wasn't busy looking away and keeping up that firm 'wall of firm love' my friend Amy taught me to build around my body when in the presence of dangerously unstable people, actively sending out love without letting anything back in-- the leftover part of me wanted to reach out and just put one hand on his forearm in a gesture of healing. What he needed wasn't a curse, it was a blessing. It's what we all need. And it's the only response to violence I can imagine that would actually help. If people are starving out there- and they are, and it is absolutely horrible- that doesn't mean it's time to dismantle capitalism. (and certainly not with violence, which is what this guy was suggesting, through a lens of thick anger.) It means working hard to make the system we have work better for the greater good.

Anyway, so that's my daily blah for the world; take that, ye lectured masses. Sorry, guys. But that's why I'm happy and relieved and excited for February. Bring on the sunshine!